The Weaponization of the Generation Gap

I was recently telling a person about a negative encounter I had with a rude receptionist at a business. The person I was conversing with is close to my age. After providing him the details, he asks, "That rude receptionist was a Millennial wasn't she?" I respond, "Of course." "I am not surprised at all. They are so disrespectful," he complained. However, before anyone gets offended or cancels me, LOL, let's take an honest look at why anyone expects a behavior from a person or group. Nine times out of ten, when a person expects something, it is due to having experienced, observed, and/or heard about a situation multiple times...numerous times...so many times that it actually shapes the individual's expectations. Expectations emerge from one’s perceptions. Based on how we perceive Millennials, we expected the receptionist to act rude and disrespectful. This psychological process occurs in any situation pertaining to human differences 👵👳👱 (race, religion, economic status, etc.). In this case, the difference is age related. Scientifically and realistically, not every person in a specific group is going to think or behave the same. There will always be situations one has never experienced, observed, or heard about. There will always be exceptions to the generalities. 

This discussion is addressing the older adult's perception of younger generations, particularly the ones known as the Millennials. A significant number of older adults have a negative view of younger adults which suggests their views likely have some validity. Hence, facilitating a major generation gap. Wikipedia defines generation gap as the difference of opinions between one generation and another in reference to beliefs, politics, or values. However, it should never reach a point of dysfunction, hatred, and toxicity. I am going to discuss why this is occurring in an effort to deescalate the situation and foster understanding. As usual, I am diving deep and keeping it 100.

Generational Groups 101

Let's first quickly review the living generational groups according to Wikipedia:

Greatest Generation (G.I. Generation)-born 1901-1927 

Silent Generation-born 1928-1945

Baby Boomers (Boomers)-born 1946-1964

Generation X (Gen X)-born 1965-1980

Millennials (Gen Y)-born 1981-1996

Generation Z (Gen Z)-born 1997-2010

Generation Alpha (Gen Alpha)-born 2011-present 

Naturally, each generation will be impacted by the events that occurred during their life span. The world, sociopolitical environment, and technology have changed drastically from the early 1900's until now.  The values and world views for most is constructed during their younger years. Whatever is going on at that time will mold and shape one's perspectives. Those same factors will impact how people raise their children further shaping one's personality, values, and outlook. Therefore, generation gaps are inevitable. Please note that all age groups have the propensity to complain about the younger ones. The music they listen to, the way they dress, their dating practices, etc., are often frowned upon by the elders 🙁. Yet, an extreme indifference has developed between Millennials and the preceding groups. It has characteristics of a social battlefield where the 2 sides are feuding enemies. This should be a concern for any Boomer or Gen X since we are the ones who have given birth and raised these proclaimed enemies. Due to children often being raised by grandparents, GI Gens and the silent generation also partook in raising Millennials. We must take accountability for certain aspects of the very things we complain about. One must ask, what went wrong? Why so much indifference? Why do Millennials and their offspring seem to harbor so much hostility 😡?

Different Styles of Upbringing

As I get older, I sound more and more like my parents who I thought were so out-dated during my youth. Now, I am discovering almost everything they taught me was right on point. Often referred to as "old school," politeness and respect was emphasized, particularly toward elders. Saying "thank you," "please," and "excuse me" was drilled into my psyche. When my family went outside, my mother would nudge us to speak to adult neighbors. We were taught not to talk back to adults and obey their instructions. For some reason, in many (not all) cases, my generation did not promote those old school values as aggressively to our children. We grew up during the "Do your own thing" revolution. 

"It's your thing, do what wanna do. I can't tell you, who to sock it to." 

The Isley Brothers.

The social climate was in rapid transformation due to the explosion of sociopolitical issues flooding the scene from the 1960's to the 1980's. This era also ushered in heavy recreational drug use (including alcohol & tobacco) having a major impact on impressionable youth-the Boomers and Gen X's. Alcohol and drug use definitely impact one's judgement and decision-making abilities. Thus, parenting skills will be impacted. Consequently, old school values were replaced with a new wave of modern more laid-back thinking that was passed onto the next generation.

 

 

 

Prior to the Millennials, certain core values never changed and were nonnegotiable. They were passed on from generation to generation. Certain beliefs were deeply ingrained and served as staples in the community, such as respecting one's elders. However, due to the "Do what you want to do" social climate, a lot of core values were not passed to the Millennials. Core values that existed for centuries were cast to the wind! This unfortunate occurrence is reflected in a multitude of behaviors, such as young people using extremely foul language in front of older people, verbally abusing and putting the paws on folks old enough to be their parents or grandparents, no chivalry demonstrated by not opening doors or giving pregnant and disabled people a seat on public transportation. A few years ago, a group of teenage girls were walking by as I was getting in my car. It was a very cold day. None of them had on coats or proper attire for the weather. I was old enough to be their grandmother. I kindly said, "Oh my, no coats? You are going to catch a cold." They did not say one word to me, but glared at me as if thinking, "Mind your business!" They kept right on walking not even acknowledging my display of concern. After that, I vowed never to speak to or show any concern for a young person I did not personally know. I have since broken that vow.

Exodus 20:12 "Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."

Baby Boomers and Gen X's were raised by parents who often promoted children being seen not heard. We were told what to do and not expected to question authority. When it was time to raise our children, many of us vowed to give our children more freedom of expression. Hence, we engaged them as if they were our peers or equals. Children are not equals to their parents. They do not possess the wisdom or life experiences to hold such a status. The boundaries got blurred between who was in charge and who obeyed. According to the Verywell Family website, parents can and should establish friendships with their children. Ultimately, they still need to accept the role as the parent and not as friend. Kids require rules, guidance, and clearly set boundaries.

 

 

 

Furthermore, experts like Dr. Benjamin Spock encouraged parents to reason with their children as opposed to exerting authority. Unfortunately, too much reasoning and not enough authority created a generation of entitled individuals who come across as spoiled and selfish. Having little patience usually accompanies feeling entitled. When the Millennials become parents, their lack of patience is expressed as anger. Guess who they take this anger out on? Their innocent offspring who are often the targets. These Gen Z's and Alphas are often harshly criticized, verbally abused, and sometimes neglected due to the anger spewed upon them. In turn, they often exhibit anger and hostility that seem irrational to people on the outside looking in. The Millennials were not adequately prepared to take on parenthood.

Some parents, not just Millennials, have a habit of speaking negativity over their child's life. It is verbal and mental abuse on steroids! They make statements such as, "You are so stupid."  "Your brother is better than you."  "You are nothing and never will be nothing." If you are a parent guilty of this, STOP spewing that toxicity!!! You are destroying your child's mind! You are killing their spirit! You are cursing their future! You should be arrested and criminally charged as if you physically abused them. To anyone, regardless of age, who has been a victim of this type of abuse, please know that you are a manifestation of God, a masterpiece, unique with a divine purpose, and loved beyond comprehension 💗.

Some of us mercilessly spoiled our Millennial kiddies. We gave them whatever they wanted. A lot of us were gone most of the time making money 💰💰💰. In order to compensate for lack of quality time, we showered them with material things not realizing it did not replace our physical presence. A spoiled, selfish, and entitled mentality ensued among those youngsters. Unfortunately, the selfish and entitled mentality spills over into the parenting skills. Previous generations often made sacrifices for their children. They put the well-being of the children first. A lot of Millennials demonstrate the complete opposite. They rarely make any sacrifices for their children and usually place their own needs first. I have personally observed Millennial parents spending their monies for unnecessary luxury items for themselves, yet, neglecting to make expenditures for the basic needs of their children. Mommy just purchased a pricey $$$ Louis Vuitton handbag while her son is crying from wearing shoes that are too tight because he has outgrown them...priorities are grossly out of order!

The Impact of Social Change

Another factor that may contribute to the perceived entitled mindset of Millennials is not having to fight for anything. The Boomers and Gen X's were born and raised during a socially/politically tumultuous time. From the 1960's to the 1980's, almost everyone was fighting for some type of cause, including Civil Rights, Women's Rights ♀, Vietnam War Veteran Rights, and so forth. The previous generations lived through World War II, the Jim Crow system, and the Great Depression. By the time the Millennials were old enough to experience the world, things had settled down. They literally reaped the benefits of all the fighting done by the previous generations. It seems that many of them have not displayed the level of appreciation or gratitude the older generations expect. I am requesting that Millennials educate themselves on the sacrifices and global contributions made by your elders and show some gratitude. Be respectful to all human beings, particularly the older ones who have literally paved the way for you. 

The internet, social media, and smart devices have influenced everyone's life across the globe. They have literally restructured how we communicate and receive information. Boomers and older generations did not grow up with these modern technologies. By the time they were introduced to the world, we were already adults. We know what it is like not have those commodities. On the other hand, the Millennials and younger groups were either born during those advancements or introduced to them at a young age. For that reason, some older adults view the younger ones as being soft and spoiled. Honestly, every generation has had access to conveniences that the previous one did not. I remember people my grandparent's age thinking that we were soft for riding a school bus. They love to tell us the popular story of how they had to walk 10 miles to school and back barefooted 🤣🤣🤣 Really???

The Nitty Gritty 

As previously discussed, the new social environment that molded the psyche of Boomers and Gen X's fostered a more socially laid-back environment. As a result, a set of new problems were created. The situation was intensified by escalating recreational drug use that has been proven to impair one's judgment. What happens next are situations that should never happen. I know these are very sensitive topics, but they must be addressed. They have contributed to much of the anger expressed by the younger generations. 

The social dynamics that reigned from the 1960's to the present day also impacted the family structure. Single mother dominated households sprung up like weeds all over the urban communities. A large number of Millennials have been raised without fathers. It is my belief that children should be raised by both parents. Mother and father contribute different, but crucial elements to the growth and development of their children. If both are not present, the youngster does not receive everything they need to evolve into an emotionally and mentally healthy adult. The product will be deficient women not knowing how to choose or interact with a man. The product will be deficient men not knowing how to act like real men.  There will be significant personality disorders wreaking havoc within their lives 😩. A major area of dysfunction will often manifest in their personal relationships. Millennials from single parent homes have notably contributed to the rise in street crimes, domestic violence, and divorce rates. An entire generation of poorly equipped human beings unable to effectively navigate life has potentially been created.

Mothers allowing casual partners (boyfriends) around their children has generated so many molestation and murder cases to the point of being a national crisis! Stop letting people you barely know around your children! Stop letting people you are casually dating around your children! In some cases, perverted husbands are messing with stepchildren or their own biological children 😰. Get law enforcement and legal help to immediately remove them from your child's environment. Sadly, it seems as if these cases have skyrocketed within the Millennial, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha populations. The molestation victim can feel anger towards the parent for allowing such an atrocity to happen. What makes matters worse is sometimes the parent's response to a molestation is inappropriate, such as not believing their child 🙁. This causes the child to feel extreme anger and resentment and can you blame them?  If your child tells you something inappropriate has happened, it is highly likely that it has. Believe them until proven otherwise. The older maternal/paternal figure who they trust the most in the whole world has betrayed them. These poor youngsters have been psychologically damaged. Therefore, they don't respect any older person old enough to be their parent. Respecting elders is a joke to them...their emotions have been destroyed by the ones they trusted the most. We must keep our children safe by protecting them from predators. It does not matter the identity of the predator be it family, friend, or stranger. Safety is one of the greatest gifts we can give our lineage.

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

I have observed the growing ugly trend of Boomer and Gen X parents displaying jealousy toward their children. Mothers competing with daughters and fathers competing with sons. More and more extremely foul incidents have occurred due to unhealthy competition of parents with their own offspring. I am not sure why this behavior seems more prevalent among Boomer and Gen X parents. A possible explanation could be the advances in healthcare and nutrition. People do not age as quickly as they used to and are overall healthier. This trend is reflected in the popular statement, "40 is the new 20." Also, the social climate caused a surge of teenage pregnancies that began in the 1970's. Therefore, many parents are closer in age to their children. They became parents while they were still children and immature. Immaturity hinders character development. A younger more vibrant parent with poor character might replace parental instincts with feelings of rivalry. How do you think the child is going to respond? With a whole lot of anger and a lack of respect and rightfully so.

The heavy drug use of Boomers and Gen X's has introduced another assault on Millennial offspring. Mothers who took recreational drugs while pregnant and/or lactating. Yes, I know I am discussing sensitive topics, but there must be accountability before healing can take place. Brain cells got damaged and scrambled while still in the womb or shortly after birth. Brain functions were distorted or destroyed. All types of dysfunctional behaviors and learning disabilities have resulted 😩. I am simply stating facts. A significant number of Millennials have received brain damage from the careless drug use of their parents, particularly the mothers. In like manner, they have repeated the same destructive trend with their children. In those cases, it is imperative to extend as much support and understanding as possible to the impacted individuals. If someone's brain damage causes them to behave dangerously, the protection and safety of person and property is a priority. At the same time, excessive disciplinary actions will have no benefit. A damaged brain needs medical attention and therapy!

 Weapon of Destruction

The dark forces intentionally create a setting that promotes division among human beings. Wherever there is human variation or differences, a platform for conflict will exist. Generation gaps are no exception and are being weaponized by the Destroyer. The downfall of the family, loving relationships, and entire communities have resulted. As long as human beings are born, there will be separate generations, therefore, generation gaps. We should use them as opportunities to gain fresh new perspectives and wisdom from each other. It is very important for the youth to recognize that seniors, by default, have a more vast life experience and potentially possess more knowledge. In most cases, the struggles and sacrifices of one generation make life easier for the next...respect that! Give elders the honor they deserve. On the flip side, the elders must recognize that younger people have been introduced into a world of more scientific advances and discoveries. Hence, they potentially have fresher more up-to-date knowledge...respect that! Every effort should be made to prevent the enemy from using the generation gaps as instruments of division and indifference. The spiritually enlightened person must be aware of this trap and not fall prey to it. We stand united and will surely fall divided 👪. Division propels us into lower worlds full of darkness and stagnation. One can only ascend when recognizing the oneness of everything. We must not focus on what makes us different, but what makes us the same.

I know I have stepped on some toes. I may have offended people. Guess what? I don't care! The truth must be told. There will always be generation gaps, but there should be mutual respect and support of each other. The different generations may not agree with everything, but at least understand each other. If you are guilty of any of the toxic behaviors discussed, take full accountability for it. Ask the Creator for forgiveness and then forgive yourself. Apologize to your child, if at all possible. Be prepared for rejection. Accept their response and keep the energy positive no matter what. After all, you have already caused immense damage. No need to pour salt in the wound. Everything you say or do should promote healing.

If you are a Millennial, a Gen Z, or Gen Alpha who has been damaged by any of the behaviors discussed, forgive your perpetrator. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness does not mean interacting with the perpetrator. It simply means letting go of the bitterness and anger. It is imperative that you stop the vicious cycle and don't pass the toxicity onto your children. Realize that your parent(s) who hurt you are damaged. Damaged people damage people. Hurt people hurt people. Actively seek counseling and psychiatric therapy. There is nothing shameful about acquiring help and it is the smart thing to do. Most importantly, embrace your spirituality, your divinity, and connect with the Supreme Healer.

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit." 🕊

 

Revelation 21:4 "...But God has given us the strength to fight through sorrow and pain on this earth." 🕊

 

• Do you know of any other factors not discussed significantly influencing the attitudes and behaviors of Millennials and younger generations?

• Do you know of or practice any specific parenting strategies which can prevent or rectify the issues discussed?
  

• Are you a Millennial or younger? What are your opinions about the issues discussed? Have you had the same, similar, or totally different experiences? How did it affect you?

ASCEND2TRUTH